The green Apple

“today no throwing coins game?” the little young boy ask me
“ nah..not today” I give him a smile “but anyway I’m going to the candy shop, wanna have some ice cream? I pay” and that’s enough to make the boy big smile

There’s the big machine sound come right to my house, the old Mercedes parked in the garage it’s my dad
“papa!” I ran to give him a hug and a kiss on his cheek “where you wanna go today?” dad hold me in his arms, my dad is older than my mom around 30 years mostly old man smell bad but my dad is different, he smell like sandalwood and musky powder with the fresh ironed cotton shirt“ I wanna go to the mall, wanna have some Dimsum..pls..pls” I give him more kisses on cheek I know this trick always work to get what I want
“as you wish my boy” dad laughed

I always get new toys every weekend, kinda cool to show the new toys to friends on Monday and it not just toys, fruits from Europe like green apples ,plum, peach and big red grapes, I’m the only one kid who can have it in the village
“wanna try it?” I ask the little boy while chewing the green apple
“how is it taste like?”
“ not too bad ..taste it then” I give him the rest of it
“don’t eat it! We’re not rich enough to get you the apples, come in the house! Now!” his mom scream out I just wonder that what’s the big deal it just an apple, few days ago when my mom pick me up from the school and we choosing cakes to get home next to the bakery

there’s banana fried shop one woman buy it for ker kid, so my mom greetin her “those banana look delicious”
“ yeahh.. I can’t get my kids the cakes, so what!”
And that’s enough to make my mom silent
When you were young your whole world could be just the small playground, it’s nothing complicated with how you play, you smile when you smile, you laugh when you laugh
But when your grow up your playground getting bigger and bigger, the way you play is more complicated too, you smile when you cry, you laugh when you angry
And we have the most favorite fame about comparing yourself to others…and if you think you can win, I don’t think so…because the more you see other people better, the less you see the best in you..for all is nothing but hurting yourself in the end

My life P.1 - Life of a Transgender

“when you grow up how many wives you wanna have?” someone in family ask me, for typical asian family they always expect their boy to grow up to be the strong man who can get girls and have many kids
Deep down inside I know this is wrong, I don’t want to have any woman and have kids but I know what they want to listen “ten wives!” I answer and smile, to see their happy face so it’s worth even I feel bad to say it buy why do I have to get risk to lost all the love and attention that I always have
As a young boy I’m totally different than the others and kinda shy, while all the boys play football but I play with the girls or feed the homeless dogs, I don’t know why I don’t like to play something hard or even video games
I don’t have many friends but that time my dad he’s the rich Chinese man and since I’m the youngest boy from his latest wife (in here most guys have many wives for th culture that a man have to kids as much as he can in the name of the family) He can see me and my mom just only in day time every evening he has to go back to his first wife
If you ask me do I feel like lost the fatherhood feeling? No, not really I can say that I have enough love that my mom can fill me, and to my dad he spoiled me nicely too since he can’t give all his time to me, he gives money instead
Once I tried to make friends by feed them with money, I did play games like throw coins to the ground and let them keep the coins, I get popular suddenly all the friends down to my feet keeping the coins but when the coins all gone from my pocket, everything become like before again.. all alone
And this is the first lesson I learned in life, you can’t buy the relationship

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Trans died because taking too much Hormones

A24 years old transgender died in shopping mall, next to her dead body there’s the diet pills, her boyfriend said he wasn’t sure if the reason was that she taking diet pills and birth control pills too much

On the 5^th floor of platinum shopping center ,the police found the dead body no any injured next to her dead body there’s the leather bag with diet pills and birth control pills for keep it as the evidence

In the evening the doctor said she died because the problem of the heart beats rate with the effect cause the pills

So please be careful with taking pills ..don’t be rush better slow but surel..rest in peace..

Indonesian Transgender Video Interview after operation

this video describes the essential problems
a Transgender has, and the mid we all have,
i feel with her ...........

wach this video to get a clue
how a trans feels.

the operation, reassignment surgery, or sex change OP,
was quite hard enough for her, hard if the world around
dont accept, even she seems happy or try make best out
of it, you can feel some unhappyness.